A La Claire Fontaine
by Franny Moon
Summary: MPPW-era. Sirius and Remus have a talk about scars and frienship the morning after a bad full moon. Sirius wishes he could help, Remus is not so keen on the idea. Fluff. Pre-Slash.


While reading this, please, please, keep in mind that the two of them are teenagers. This is all very awkward and unsure and hesitant. Unresolved Sexual Tension. MPPW-Era, Mid-Fifth Year. The boys are not animagi yet.

_Disclaimer:_ Rowling's, not mine.

À La Claire Fontaine 

Through the half-opened door of the dorm, Sirius saw Remus standing in front of a full-length mirror. There was nothing abnormal about that. After all, Sirius refelcted, Remus always spent a ridiculous amount of time in front of the mirror every morning. He always combed his fair hair slowly and carefully and flattened the creases in his old tattered clothes as much as he could. Everytime he'd catch the other boy at it, Sirius would think guiltily about something his mother sometimes said about poor people doing everything in their might to look as proper as they could. Shameful, he just shook his head. This was not the behaviour of a poor person. This was Remus. Remus and his funny habits. Remus being his fussy self. Correction; Remus being his endearing, fussy self. If it was up to Sirius, his mother should be rotting in a stinking hole with her discriminatory principles and ideas.

The abnormality of the scene was that Remus was clad only in a worn out pair of faded muggle jeans. He seemed to be observing his torso closely, especially his many scars. He was… counting them? No… no, he was tracing them. Like muggle children did with maze games. Remus's scar tissues; a never-ending maze of pain. There was no way out. He was trapped in it. The werewolf always made it a point of not undressing in front of his roommates, even now that they knew of his condition. He was ashamed of the scars, the proofs of the existence of a montruous beast within him. It wasn't the first time that Sirius got a clear view of his friend's marred skin, but it still came as a shock. Buried under all these layers of threadbare clothes, it was so easy to forget about the reminders of the pain his friend had to go through every month.

A humming brought the black-haired boy out of his reverie. Remus was signing softly. So softly that from where he was standing, Sirius couldn't make out the lyrics. The signing abruptly stopped when Remus' long fingers came to a halt on a very bad looking red scar that seemed as rescent as yesterday's full moon. The pale boy sighed, his thin shoulders sagging, as if yet another load had been added to the weight he always seemed to be carrying. Remus resumed signing, this time louder.

_« À la claire fontaine, _

_M'en allant promener... » _

Remus shivered, seemingly realizing that he was dressed very unproperly for the season.

_« J'ai trouvé l'eau si belle _

_Que je m'y suis baigné. »_

The tips of his fingers slowly felt the bumps that numerous scars caused on his chest.

_« Il y a longtemps que je t'aime_

_Jamais je ne t'oublierai. »_

He finished, smiling softly, eyes closed as he let his hand fall to his side.

"Wow! I always forget that you're French until you blab something that no body understands but you." The black-haired boy exclaimed, sounding slightly out of breath.

To Sirius's surprise, Remus's smile grew; he didn't seem surprised by his friend's presence at all. Sirius got closer to Remus, until he was behind him and met his gaze in the mirror.

"You knew I was here, didn't you?" he asked.

Remus nodded, still smiling.

"I smelled you and heard you. You aren't a very subtle person, I'm afraid."

Sirius chuckled and examined his friend. His brows knitted when he saw clearly the recent looking scars.

"…Merlin, I wish we could be with you…we are working really hard on it… I… We are almost there… I think."

Remus turned to Sirius, his face expressionless.

"This is dangerous, Sirius. Stop messing with advanced magic; even if it's for something that you consider a good reason. I don't want you expelled or in Azkaban. You know the punishments for unregistered animagis." He said quietly, looking down.

Sirius grabbed the werewolf by the shoulders and shook him.

"Look at yourself, Remus! It's written in your face! You don't even believe what you're saying. You want us there with you!"

"Don't put words in my mouth and stop taking your dreams for reality. You know what?" he began, his voice getting louder with each word. "You aren't doing this for me, I bet you are only doing this for the thrills, it's exactly like you to be-"

He didn't get the chance to finish his sentence. Sirius grabbed him by the shoulders again and spun him until he faced the mirror.

"Listen to yourself, Remus. Look at yourself! You are exhausted… You refuse to face me. How do you expect me to think that you actually believe what you are saying?"

Remus raised his eyes and met his refelction's gaze.

"No." he began with semi-supressed rage. " You look at me, Sirius. All these hideous scars that I usually hide so carefully. These scars that symbolize the horror, the beast, the nightmare, the shame! You think that I want you to sport these? That I want to see them on you?" he finished in a whisper.

Sirus sighed angrily.

"Oh and you think that **I** like seeing them on **you**?"

Hurt flashed in Remus' eyes as he bent down to pick up his discarded shirt. Sirius, realizing the double meaning of what he had just said, hanged his head and put back his hands on his friend's shoulders as he stood up again.

"No wait, that's not what I meant. Well it **is** what I meant, but not the way you took it. You…" he paused and sighed again, visibly trying to collect his thoughts. "You, Remus… are beautiful. Your pale skin and your scars and your greying hair, they're all parts of your …beautiful self." He said awkwardly, choosing his words with care. "But the scars… the scars mean pain. Pain you have to go trough every month and your pain is my pain, 'cause you're my friend, Remus."

Remus looked at his friend's reflection, a weak smile wavering on his pale lips.

"I know, I know…" he paused. " We are being quite sentimental for a pair of teenage boys, aren't we?" he said, dabbing the corner of his eye with the sleeve of the shirt he had just picked up.

For a moment, the only noise disturbing the silence was the ruffling of the shirt as Remus slowly put it on and buttonned it up, seemingly having a hard time. Sirius frowned as his eyes fell on his friend's bandaged left hand.

"Your hand… it's injured… Let me… let me-"

Unable to finish his sentence he stepped forward, reached out for Remus' hands and gently pried them away before resuming the buttonning of the dress shirt. His knuckles brushed softly against Remus' heaving chest each time the smaller boy drew a breath.

Sirius' hands were getting inexplicably clammy as he reached the top button, standing incredibly close to his friend. Once finished, he let both his hands fall to his sides, never stepping back.

"Y…Your heart is beating terribly fast." Sirius noticed.

"…Ah… yeah…" the other boy answered breathlessly.

"After-moon effect?"

"…Don't think so…"

"…Oh."

"Oh."

For a moment, none of the two did anything. Not daring a move or a word, afraid to break the mood.

Remus, blushing slightly, raised his incredibly gleaming eyes and met Sirius's expectant ones.

_« ...Il y a longtemps que je t'aime, jamais je ne t'oublierai... »_ Remus sang softly, almost inaudibly, looking straight into Sirius blue eyes.

Blown away by the intensity of Remus' gaze and the emotion in his voice Sirius found himself unable to talk for a few moments. When he finally found his voice, he gulped, put his left hand over Remus' shaking right and asked:

"What does that mean?"

Remus stared into Sirius' eyes for a few more seconds before et looked down and laughed awkwardly, freeing his hand from Sirius light grip. Unconsciously caressing the knuckles Sirius had just been touching, Remus opened his mouth and closed it, still looking at the floor.

"It's a just an old lullaby, is all." He finally muttered, giving his black- haired friend a small smile.

Sirius arched an eyebrow.

"C'mon, mate…" he whined teasingly.

A rosy blush found its way to Remus's cheeks.

"It's nothing, really."

"Now, Remus, you can't just sing like that, looking… well looking like that and **not** tell me what exactly you are singing."

Remus seemed to hesitate for a moment.

"Get yourself a dictionnary, Black!" he chuckled.

Sirius scoffed in mock outrage. He tried to maintain his falsely shocked facade but only ended up laughing. His bark-like laughter soon invited his friend's more quiet and timid one and soon they found themselves toppling ungraciously on the nearest bed, laughing together. When their laughters finaly died down, they were lying side by side in crumpled red and gold Gryffindor bedclothings, both staring at the draperies hanging over them. Feeling the radiating heat from Remus' incredibly close body, Sirius squirmed a little and only caused his hand to brush with the werewolf's warm one.

"Aah… sorry." He said, unable the bring himself to move and break the light contact.

"S'okay." Remus answered, finding that he rather liking the feeling of Sirius' knuckles lightly pressing against the back of his hand.

The silence felt heavy as both boys remained still, not knowing what to say or do.

"It feels good… laughing so much I mean… well… you know… erh…" Sirius ended his ramble with a nervous cough.

"…Yeah." Remus mentally kicked himself for his lack of conversationary skills. He, who could be surprisingly wordy with close friends, was now reduced to this.

Another awkward pause followed, when suddenly a smirk found its way to Sirius's lips.

Turning on his side, he brought his hands up to pillow his head, the knee of his now angled left leg touching Remus's tigh. The sudden move surprised the werewolf; Sirius' face was now so close to his own that he could feel the dark-haired boy's breath on this quickly reddening face.

"You still haven't translated the song, mate." Sirius whispered, noticing that if he pressed his cheek really hard against the back of his hand he could feel the warmth of the spot where his friend's fingers had been.

The shorter boy seemed to tense up and Sirius frowned, deciding not to press the matter. A minute passed and Remus heaved a sigh.

"It's about a fountain… 'Close to the clear water of the fountain, I went walking. The water was so clear that I bathed in it.'…"

Sirius blinked a few times and burst in laughter.

"You were signing a French song about some exhibitionist?" he managed while laughing.

Remus turned on his side as well and glared at his friend whose face was mere centimeters away from his. Suddenly Sirius was serious again.

"It really is a lullaby. It's not how it seems, you idiot. It's a very rough translation and anyway that's only the first part."

"Then what's the other part?" The taller boy's eyes were locked to his friends'.

For a moment, Remus only stared back. The intensity of the look they were sharing had stolen his voice. Growing intimidated, he then looked down and laughed nervously.

"It's one of these 'French Only' thing…It can't be translated… it… it just can't. Sorry." He lied, his cheeks reddeneing.

Sirius closed his eyes in defeat, letting out a breath he hadn't realised he had been holding.

"Okay…" he said, defeated. "But… but would you please say it again? It sounded… you know…"

Remus smiled shyly.

"_Il y a longtemps que je t'aime, jamais je ne t'oublierai_." He sang so softly that Sirius had to strain his ears to hear him.

"Again." He demanded, breathless.

Remus blushed crimson as he repeated what Sirius had now labeled as 'The Mysterious French Sentence'

There was a long silence after that as both boys simply looked at each other, their bodies incredibly close, their faces few centimeters apart. Somehow their legs had gotten entwined and they couldn't seem to bring themselves to entangle them.

"Remus?" Sirius asked, staring intantly into his friend's amber eyes.

"Yeah?" he breathed.

"…I…" the black haired boy licked his lips. "I mean," he frowned a little. "Do you…" Sirius sighed, seemingly unable to express himself. "I…I feel all weird…" he finally settled for this, wincing at how stupid it must've sounded.

Remus smiled a soft warm smile that made Sirius's stomach feel suddenly very heavy.

"…Yeah, me too." He admitted quietly. He closed his eyes and pressed his hand to his chest, releasing a long breath. "I can't seem to get my heart to stop… throbbing," he murmured.

Sirius placed his hand atop his friend's.

"Yeah… I can feel it…" he whispered with a chuckle.

"I don't know what's going on with me. I… I've never been like this before." Remus admitted with a nervous laugh, his eyes searching around the room for something to settle on. Looking at his friend was suddenly too much. "Is yours beating this fast too? Your… your heart, I mean."

"Yeah…" Sirius whispered staring at his hand resting gently over his friend's. His thumb was rubbing slow circles around the knuckle of Remus' index finger.

The door of the dorm opened with a loud bang. Sirius and Remus, as if caught doing something forbidden, sprang apart.

"Oi! Sear! Did you find him?" James asked, coming in the room, Peter in tow. He looked around the room and finally found both boys, sitting on the edge of Remus' bed, about a meter apart, their eyes cast downward and glowing blushes on their cheeks. "Remus, mate, are you alright? We were worried about you. Bad full moon?"

Remus cleared his throat.

"Erh… I'm fine, really, thanks for your concern." He said, his face still red.

"You weren't coming back, so after Potion we sent Sirius here to see if you were alright." Peter informed the lycantrope, taking a step forward.

Sirius untensed and smiled up at his friends.

"Do I even need to ask if we missed something in History of Magic?" he asked with a grin.

Peter snorted.

"How would you know, now? You snored through the whole lesson!" James said, laughed, pointing at the mousy boy. "Can't blame you, though…" he added.

Remus eyed Sirius as he laughed with the two other boys. The black-eyed boy caught sight of his glance and his cheeks colored slightly.

"Did you take the notes, James?" Remus asked, suddenly coming back to his senses.

The bespectaled boy flashed his pale-haired friend a reassuring smile.

"Of course I did. I know how important those are to you… You owe me though!"

"Thanks." Remus muttered.

"Mates, I'm hungry!" declared Peter. "Let's go down to the Great Hall or we'll miss lunch."

"Fine by me." Answered James.

"I'm in too!" said Sirius. "You coming, Remus…?" he asked, turning to look at the smaller boy.

Remus smiled a small secretive smile that Sirius shyly returned.

"Yeah, go on, I'll join you guys in a minute." He replied.

The three pranksters left the room, Sirius somewhat hesitating a bit in the doorframe before he resumed following James and Peter.

Remus let out a deep breath, pressing both hand on his chest in a vain attempt to calm his racing heart. Wondering if Sirius' was still throbbing as well, Remus smiled and looked down at his hands. They were trembling in unsupressed excitement. He imagined a red hot circle around his index's knuckle from when the other boy had been caressing it.

_Caressing!_

Oh Merlin! Blushing crimson, Remus wondered if he and Sirius would always feel like this when they would be together from now on.

Their entwined legs… Sirius's gleaming eyes… his moist lips…

_Oh Merlin!_

Shaking his head to clear it from memories of warm touches and whispered words, he faced his reflection in the mirror, wishing for the embarassing blush to fade. Flattening his now tousled hair, he realized that as much as he wanted, he couldn't chase these images from his mind. They were imprinted in his head and he found himself happy about it. He never wanted to forget about what had just happened, he decided. A smile slowly curled on his lips.

_«Il y a longtemps que je t'aime_

_Jamais je ne t'oublierai. »_

(A/N): Mmmh… So, How was that for UST? Mmh? Translation, you ask? " I've been loving you for a long time, now. I will never forget you." Now please, review I'm begging on my knees like I promised myself I'd never do. I need feedback. Help me fight writer's block!


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